The 24 most ridiculous car names ever

The 24 most ridiculous car names ever

'I'm taking the Titan Dump, darling'


CAR names can mean different things in different countries. Take the example of the Toyota MR2: in France it was hurriedly rebadged as the “MR” — pronounced “em-air” — because the local sales guys pointed out that not many people would want to drive an “em-air-deux” (as close to “merde” as makes no difference).

Japan is infamous for its curious car-names; Mitsubishi once came up with the altogether more palatable “Minica Lettuce” for one of its models, but while that’s unquestionably inoffensive to UK ears, as a car name it’s a little limp.

The same brand also called one of its cars the Starion, which many Westerners (including Jeremy Clarkson) believed would have been “Stallion” had there not been some confusion between the letters L and R.

Sadly, this appears to be incorrect — original press materials indicate that “Starion” is a contraction of “Star of Arion”, with Arion being a horse from Greek mythology. Still, it’s not the coolest of names and having to correct every person down the pub must have got tiresome for owners.

Silly car names aren’t exclusive to Far East car makers, though. As we shall see, Ford, Austin, Vauxhall and more have all been guilty.

1 Nissan Friend-Me

nissan friend-me concept

At the 2013 Frankfurt motor show, Nissan added a new entry to the big book of bizarre car names: the Friend-Me. With its social network-inspired interior and specification, the concept vehicle previewed Nissan’s vision of the future. It looked OK but the name reeked of desperation in the age of generation Facebook.

 

2 Mazda Bongo Friendee

World's worst car names: Mazda Bongo Friendee

Once you realise that the vehicle bearing this name is, at least in the UK, a campervan, its ludicrous name begins to make sense. Bongo drums around the campfire, making new friends… that kind of thing.

 

3 Daihatsu Naked

World's worst car names: daihatsu naked

The name of a car, or the dress code for its driver?

 

4 Mitsubishi Carisma

World's worst car names: mitsubishi carisma

It’s difficult to imagine a car with less charisma, no matter how much Mitsubishi wants us to think otherwise.

 

5 Hyundai Trajet

World's worst car names: hyundai trajet

For some people, this MPV’s name came close to describing their ownership experience.

 

6 Gaylord Gladiator

World's worst car names: gaylord gladiator

A car, and possibly a follow up to the 2000 Ridley Scott movie.

 

7 Dodge Dart Swinger

World's worst car names: dodge dart swinger

This was a hip car to own when it was introduced at the end of the ’60s. Come the ’70s and it gave party guests the wrong impression.

 

8 Vauxhall Adam

World's worst car names: vauxhalll adam

Named after the founder of German car maker Opel, of which Vauxhall is still a subsidiary, the Adam is marked out for its many customisation options, making it “as individual as you are”. Sadly, with a name like that, regardless of your chosen colour combinations people will always think of its owners as a bit beige.

 

9 Studebaker Dictator

World's worst car names: studebaker dictator

Not the best choice during the 1930s and ’40s.

 

10 AMC Gremlin

World's worst car names: amc gremlin

Don’t get it wet, and definitely don’t feed it after midnight.

 

11 Great Wall Wingle

World's worst car names: great wall wingle

It sounds like a comfort break while trekking in China, but we’re assured it’s the name of a pickup.

 

12 Mazda Titan Dump

World's worst car names: mazda titan dump

See above, but in Japan.

 

13 Ford Probe

World's worst car names: ford probe

Nothing pleasant is associated with the word “probe”.

 

14 Mitsubishi Minica Lettuce

World's worst car names: Mitsubishi lettuce

Sadly this variant of the Minica wasn’t followed up by the Mitsubishi Tomato and Mitsubishi Sesame Seed Bun. And it could have been worse…

 

15 Mitsubishi Minica Winky

World's worst car names: minicar winky

Find something funny, Jenkins? Do share it with the entire class.

 

16 Isuzu Mysterious Utility Wizard

World's worst car names: isuzu mysterious utility wizard

JK Rowling left Isuzu soon after.

 

17 Mitsubishi Toppo Guppy

World's worst car names: mitsubichi toppo guppy

Named after the best fish in the tank, perhaps.

 

18 Toyota Deliboy

World's worst car names: toyota deliboy

New York, Paris, Aichi. “This time next year, Rodders-san”, etc.

 

19 Tarpan Honker

World's worst car names: tarpan honker

Hilarious name klaxon!

 

20 Chevrolet Celebrity

World's worst car names: chevrolet celebrity

We’ll put this one on the Z-list.

 

21 Proton Putra

World's worst car names: proton putra

Any self-respecting child would instantly nickname it the Putrid.

 

22 Subaru Brat

The world's worst car names

Doesn’t start when required, and slams the door shut behind you.

 

23 Austin Princess

World's worst car names: austin princess

The only person who’d think this was a good name is Frank Butcher.

 

24 Mazda LaPuta

World's worst car names: mazda laputa

Laputa was the flying island in Gulliver’s Travels. Unfortunately it is also a Spanish term for a lady of the night.