driving.co.uk

(Ten)uous Explanations for Speeding

So driver, do you have any idea why I've stopped you ?

1.	I need to get to the petrol station before my fuel runs out

2.	I’m a member of the Royal family

3.	My shoes have just been resoled and I’m not used to the extra weight

4.	I was trying to get away from the car following me

5.	Thank heavens officer, I thought the flashing blue light chasing me was a UFO

6.	I was hurrying to the petrol station before the free lead crystal glasses run out

7.	I was in a complete daze because I've got a new air freshener in my car

8.	I’m a research physicist trying to prove Einstein’s Theory of Relativity

9.	These go faster stripes really do work then

10.	I was trying to make up the hour we lost when the clocks went forward

I can explain ...
In a small town in the United States, a police officer stops a speeding motorist.

'But officer', the man began, 'I can explain'

'Just be quiet', snapped the officer. 'I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back'.

'But, officer, I just wanted to say',

'And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!'

A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, 'Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding ! ... He'll be in a good mood when he gets back'.

'Don't count on it' answered the fellow in the cell.

'I'm the groom'