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Tommy Cooper

Driving Jokes

	Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off'

	So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me, 'can you give me a lift?' I said 'sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it'.

	You know, somebody actually complemented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine'. So that was nice.

	So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said 'You've been promoted' and I swerved ... And he rang up a second time and said 'you've been promoted again' ... And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'you're a Managing Director' ... And I went into a tree. A policeman came up and said 'what happened to you?' ... And I said 'I careered off the road.'

Tommy Cooper
Born on 9 March 1922 in Caerphilly, South Wales. Though technically Welsh, it was Devon that gave him his identity and his faint West Country burr. Tommy Cooper's trade-mark was instituted whilst entertaining the troops in the NAFFI in Egypt during the second world war. Short of a pith helmet prop for his act, he whipped off a nearby waiters Fez and used that instead. The laugh he got for putting on a Fez was noted and the Fez became a permanent trade mark of Tommy Cooper's act. He collapsed on stage, at Her Majesty's Theatre, on 15th April 1984.