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Why did the Chicken cross the road ?  

 

Answers ?
Reflecting various perceptions !

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER To get to the other side
PLATO For the greater good
ARISTOTLE It is the nature of chickens to cross roads
KARL MARX It was an historical inevitability
MACHIAVELLI The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was
SADDAM HUSSEIN This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it
RONALD REAGAN I forget
RICHARD M. NIXON The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road
BILL CLINTON The chicken did NOT cross the road. Not a single time. Never. (It was a boulevard).
HILLARY CLINTON It was part of a vast right-wing conspiracy against my husband
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK To boldly go where no chicken has gone before
HIPPOCRATES Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas
ANDERSEN CONSULTING Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.
TIMOTHY LEARY Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it
LOUIS FARRAKHAN The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question
MOSES And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, 'Thou shalt cross the road.' And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
FOX MULDER You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it ?
JERRY SEINFELD Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway ?
FREUD The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity
BILL GATES I have just released the new Chicken Office 2001, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your cheque book.
OLIVER STONE The question is not, 'Why did the chicken cross the road?' Rather, it is, `Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?'
DARWIN Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads
EINSTEIN Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference
BUDDHA Asking this question denies your own chicken nature
RALPH WALDO EMERSON The chicken did not cross the road ... it transcended it.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY To die. In the rain
MICHAEL SCHUMACHER it was an instinctive manoeuvre, the chicken obviously didn't see the road until he had already started to cross.
OSAMA BIN LADEN It's a holy war against those infedel Chickens who cross the road
COLONEL SANDERS I missed one ?


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Country Advice
A city man was tooling down a country road when his car sputtered to a complete stop near a field filled with cows. The driver, getting out to see what was the matter, noticed one of the cows looking at him. 'I believe it's your radiator,' said the cow.

The man nearly jumped right out of his city slicker britches ! He ran to the nearest farmhouse and knocked on the door. "A cow just gave me advice about my car!' he shouted, waving his arms frantically back toward the field.

The farmer nonchalantly leaned out beyond the door frame to glance down the field. 'The cow with two big black spots on it?' the farmer asked slowly.

'Yes! Yes! That's the one!' the excited man replied.

'Oh. Well, that's Ethel,' the farmer said, turning back to the man. 'Don't pay any attention to her. She doesn't know a thing about cars.'

The Minister
A Church minister is driving down the M1 to London. A Traffic Patrol pulls him over for speeding.

The Officer smells alcohol on his breath and then he sees an empty wine bottle on the floor, and he says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?'

And the minister says, 'Just water.'

The Officer says, 'Then why do I smell wine?'

And the minister looks down at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord, He's done it again!'