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Some Speeding Humour  

 

Traffic Police - You win some, lose some
A traffic police patrol officer pulls over a driver for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driving licence ?

Driver: I don't have one. I'm disqualified for drinking and driving.

Officer: May I see the registration documents for this vehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the registration documents in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the boot.

Officer: There's a BODY in the boot ?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his sergeant. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the sergeant approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Sergeant: Sir, can I see your licence ?

Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Sergeant: Who's car is this ?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.

Sergeant: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your boot ? I was told you said there's a body in it.

Driver: No problem.

Boot is opened; no body.

Sergeant I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a licence, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the boot.

Driver: HA! Oh boy, that's a good one. I'll bet he told you I was speeding too !


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Unfair Ticket ?
A Lotus Carlton driver is feeling secure driving amongst a cluster of cars all travelling at about the same speed, but .is stopped for speeding on the M4.

The officer handed the ticket over, but before leaving the car the driver asked ...

'Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair - there were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did I get the ticket?'

'Ever go fishing ?' the policeman suddenly asked the man.

'Um, er, yeah...' the startled driver replied.

The officer grinned and added, 'Did you ever catch all the fish ?'

 

Ask a Silly Question
Traffic Police Officer's Question: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact ?

Driver's Answer: Gucci sweater and Reeboks.